No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
