Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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