Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
