i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
