that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
