Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
