But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
