she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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