He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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