Its about making memories worth repressing
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
