ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
