I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
