He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
