there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize