He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
