I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
