who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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