In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
