Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
