We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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