How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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