I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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