There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Boobs speak an international language.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize