listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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