A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just had sex bonerless
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
