So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Less talking, more tequila
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
