i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
