I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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