literally had 100 drinks last night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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