im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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