An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
