Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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