Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Dignity is for republicans.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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