i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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