She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
