I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
