Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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