SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
