wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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