We need to rekindle our bromance
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
