Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i need an iv and a liver transplant
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
