i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
