so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
