you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
