If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
