We're like a lot better than the average bears
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
