my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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