Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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