You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
