p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
