Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
