I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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