You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
