I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
