He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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