Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
