I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
