yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She bit a glass in half.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
