I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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