I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
