You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Your penis caused this!
PANTIES FOUND
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