i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
