there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
