Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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