He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
