So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Randomize
