Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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