Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
