i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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